The Little Women

I always love photography and this  piqturesque city is just a great fit for me. With its rich history and the red square that’s very touristy, this walkable city  is one of UNESCO’s world heritage;  along with Penang and its George  Town famous mural on the wall. Oh thank God my place is near this beautiful little town. It’s my third time here and  still, an all time favorite all in all. This time I’m here with hubby, hoping  next time we’ll be back with baby. Pretty sure he’ll enjoy this city  just as much as mommy. The vibrant color, its laidback atmosphere with beautiful lights show all over the city is really one to die for. This city has pulse, so alive in its own way. The city that instantly & completely feels  like home. I hope, oh I hope each of you also  has one particular city that hold your heart forever, I hope you find your  own home away from home. Ananda Khaira Azizah, Kota Malaka, 5 April 2025. Hari Sabtu, pukul 2 pa...

Baby melts into mama’s embrace almost instantly. We just lay there in silence, hugging each other real hard. Then his eyes slowly closed and his breath deepens. Baby is asleep in 5 minutes after meeting me. My whole world is finally, finally comes home. I refuse to turn the lights off, you know. I’d prefer we sleep this night off in bright lights, for me to soak his presence for as long as time allows. Seeing his face, embracing his body, inhaling his smell, goofing around every time and everyday. Seeing his smile & hearing his laugh. Thank God, oh thank God he’s finally home. He’s healthy, happy, he’s more than great and he’s just, beyond amazing. Thank God, oh thank God for everything. Ananda Khaira Azizah, Pekanbaru, 15 April 2025. Hari Selasa, pukul 9 malam. (Part Two)

To tell you the truth, I barely functioning this whole week, you know. At all.   Even though I might appear good on the surface but my thoughts are in such disarray of not knowing what, where or how my baby is. Because I’m not with him, you know? This one time I even forgot the steps of my shower, I have no idea what steps was done and what wasn’t done because apparently my thoughts were somewhere else. I became forgetful on things I do not normally forget.  My heart was somewhere else because baby was somewhere else. And tonight I waited downstairs for hours upon his arrival, and the moment his car parked in the driveway I bolted out to take him into my arms. Finally. Finally. Ananda Khaira Azizah, Pekanbaru, 15 April 2025. Hari Selasa, pukul 9 malam. (Part One)

There it is, baby. The overlapping shadow  of the world outside. Do you see it? Are you able to see what mama sees? So here’s the thing, darling. This world is not just one straight arrow going one way, it’s  so many bended ones overlapping with one another; scattered around with so many destinations of each. And people is so much like those arrow; bended. Circumstances and situations bend the arrow to the left, then right, then left again, and so on and so on.  Then the arrow intersect with another arrow that has so many dents within itself already, then both arrows intersect with another arrow yet again. And those dents, those intersections; those overlaps are exactly what makes our world as beautiful as it is right now.  People with the overlapping shadows in their interactions of one another and their interactions within themselves. As complex and as beautiful as they are. So please, there’s no need to be ashamed of every history of ours & our own body, okay?...

There’s a nice glow from the room outside. It was warm, inviting, pretty. Ever so beautiful like we live in the golden hour, all time glow. I hope the new room will bring new adventure to baby. With its soft orange colored wall,  surrounded with toys that he likes and people that he loves. I hope he’ll grow as warm as his new wall.  Bold but not too bold; brave but not too brave, only enough. Enough to make people sit & feel comfortable with him and his presence.  The wall is cautious, warm & beautiful. An instant homely feelings will be felt when you take your first step into the room.  I hope, oh I hope that room will always remind him of home. I hope it will always remind him of us.  Ananda Khaira Azizah, Pekanbaru, 27 Maret 2025. Hari Kamis, pukul 10 pagi.

I want you to see, baby. I want you to see that we’re just a human as much as anybody. That Mama sometimes cry and a little sappy, that she might even cry when she’s angry. Your Papa is generally funny but  he might be quiet when he’s worry. We love hard & play hard but of course we still fight, we talk good and do good but mistakes will still be made. I want you to know that it is okay to be mad when you’re angry; to be sad when you’re lonely, to be jelly, to feel icky and to  experience any emotions other  than feeling happy. Sometimes people still smile even when they do not feel so smiley. It’s the thing people do for many reasons, really. They are just complex with all of their story. And we human often are difficult with feelings, but it is always good to let things out than to bottled it up. Because the explosion might not be pretty. So please just be kind to everyone, baby. Because we all deserve of being loved just as much as everybody. The messiness, the cra...