The Little Women

How about we exchange shadow? Maybe then, for once, you will hear what I hear, you will see what I see & go through what I went through. Maybe then, for once, you will understand. You know I am strong but sometimes the shadow is stronger, fiercer, and more merciless. You know I am soft but sometimes the shadow is softer, lighter, and happier. The shadow is sometimes, moodier. But if you love her; you love me then. If you cherish her; you cherish me then. So if we do exchange shadow, what will you do then? Will you nurture, will you love, will you adore and will you stay? Ananda Khaira Azizah, Pekanbaru, March 25th 2026. Written at 12am on a Wednesday.

Where is she In the history of the world? Does she exist somewhere, anywhere? Oh but she is, darling. She exist in the pages of the books she read, In the lyrics of the songs she sang, and in the structure of the piece she wrote. It might not seem like much; She might not seem like much but she is there, present like never before. Her mind wanders but it also stays,  Her day slows but it also sped up. The little boy that she used to hug? She just couldn’t believe that it is him that hug her now. He kisses her now & tell  her stories &  sing her a song. Really amazing how fast time flies. So she sat there, building her confidence, building her confidant(s), one little presence at one time. Ananda Khaira Azizah, Pekanbaru, March 13th 2026. Written at 7am on a Friday.

Do you know how to hug your child? I hug him sweetly, I squeeze him tightly, I hold him frequently. Do you know how to kiss your child? I kiss him playfully, I kiss him longingly, I kiss him lovingly. And do you know what I get in return? My loving, playful, and sweet, sweet child. Who hug the way I hug, kiss the way I kiss, speak the way I speak (and laugh the way I laugh) 😂🤣 Boy have I ever been so in love 🥰 Ananda Khaira Azizah, Pekanbaru, February 28th 2026. Written at 5am on a Saturday.  

To my brave and precious friend, If I have a nickel everytime I feel grateful for you, I’ll be one, super rich lady right now. Life isn’t always good to me, but you make it good. It is sometimes bitter, but you make it sweet. My journey’s been rough but you make it smooth, you make it joyful, you make it happy & you make it delightful.  When I hit rock bottom I’m just glad that my rock is you. Those Saturday night JCo’s & 2 hours video calls sustains me forever, you know. The Bangkok trip that we had? I’m so glad we went.  Well bottomline is, I really do think life won’t crack you open when it hits hard, you will crack it instead. My strong, strong willed, dearest bestfriend. Our 12 years of no rush, no hush, no shush and trustful friendship is the absolute delight of my life. I hope you know how precious you are. So today here I am, standing so proud in front of our new graduate, dr. Veronica Vensca Inggrid Jamlean, M.M. Here’s to you, here’s to your life and here’s t...

So I was on a flight this afternoon, and I just happened to pick the window seat that faced the sun, you know? It got so hot so I closed the cover. I left 1/4 of it open for my “peek window” then it got me thinking, that 1/4 is like our life, right? There is so much bigger part of it (3/4) that we haven’t, and won’t figured out like, ever. Because that big chunk is part of our God almighty’s grand plan. All we know is that 1/4 part only. All our lives, our happy and sorrows, experiences & dreams exist there. A part that gets even smaller anytime we get too caught up in something, it turns to 1/8. And we call that 1/8 as tunnel mode.  So imagine of it’s this way : I struggled so hard during my college days in my major so I flee everywhere and ended up excelling in both of my organizations (don’t worry, I studied real hard for my exit exam and passed with flying colors). But those experiences; those everything, made me who I am today. The struggle, the stories, the friendships, t...

Those people who live forever Do they want to,  or they just happen to? Do they ever wish for something otherwise? Do they, at some point in their lives, feel like they cheated on death, or it just skip them entirely? Purposely, and painfully? Because they see loved ones leave, landscapes changed, pets gone & plants died, but never they. It’s never they.  Do you think they feel such longing for it? I mean, well, even their memories ditched them somehow;  so why couldn’t life? So let me ask you this one thing, those people who live forever; do they  want to or  they just happen to? Ananda Khaira Azizah, Pekanbaru, Jan 29th 2026. Written at 10am on a Thursday.