Skip to main content

The marriage of equals



          Speaking of the traditional celtic vow, one to two years ago was the first time I’ve ever heard this vow, and it’s been stuck with me from that moment on. There is no vow that could describe marriage better than this vow, I suppose. Especially the part that says “You cannot possess me for I belong to myself. You cannot command me for I am a free person." But alongside that she also said “I pledge to you my living and my dying, I shall be a shield for your back and you for mine. I shall honor you above all others. This is my wedding vow to you, this is the marriage of equals."

          I promise you that I’ll be the best mother that I can be. I’ll shower them with lots and lots of love and affection, I’ll take a very good care of their well-being along with their interests. I shall give it my all for them. But I will not, and will never restrict their movements, I will not take their voices away, I shall not limit their thoughts. For they are also a person of their own. I’ll let them spread their wings and fly up high in the sky, to become the best that they can be, the very best version of themselves. I’ll be their number one fan throughout the course of their lives. And alongside all of that, I’ll be your best friend for life, your first aide of everything, your forever-ally.

          That is what marriage supposed to and always be. The marriage of equals. Marriage is a companionship, not an ownership. I feel that sometimes we mistook them both. I watched the movie “Bebas” lately to which the main actress said something to her friend “Thank you for reminding me that I’m not just a wife and a mother. Thank you for reminding me that I am so much more than that, that I am still myself.” Even with marriage, we are still our own person. Love is about two already-whole person finding each other, bringing up the best in one another. Love is never about one person completing each other. We really don’t need anyone to complete us, for we're already complete by ourselves.

          Always be there for us, navigate us through life but please, do not restrict us. Let us explore ourselves and spread our wings. Let us hold on tight to our dream, watch us pave our way into it, slowly but sure, one small steps at a time. It is companionship that we seek, not some proprietary rights.

           But of course we still have to give all of ourselves to you and you only, be it our heart or anything. Forever. But please note that we are your partner, for you don’t own us, that we are your ally for the rest of your life.

          That’s exactly why we should implement the celtic wedding vow into our lives. Equality is the key for diminishing any gender-related-problem in this merciless world we live in.


    (photo courtesy of google.com)
                    



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Family Who Read

         I was raised in a family who appreciate reading. It’s all started way back when we were young. We grew up reading comic books, our parents often gave us books as our “naik kelas”’s gifts. So we ended up looking forward to books. I remember the feeling when we were anxiously waiting for our packs of books to open, couldn’t wait to read it as we already waiting for it for a long time. And as a continuation of that, by the time we were a teenager, we expand our liking to novels, and our house filled with fantasy books such as “Eragon”, “The Bartimaeus Trilogy” by Jonathan Stroud, books written by Cornelia Funke, “Maximum Ride” by James Patterson and the likes which supplied by our mother. So myself in particular found solace and curiousity in fantasy books.           So then we developed our love for books. Growing up, each of us found our own genre, as my brother likes “Haruki Murakami”, me and my father...
4 comments
Read more

Label-free

I mentioned sixth sense in one of my previous post, the “What Should I do” one. True, I stated that the longer we know someone, we’ll develop some kind of sixth sense that’ll help us “communicate” with them. A wordless communication, so to say. That mind reader, gesture-talk kind of things. But I must say that that telepathy is a double edged sword. Why? Because it has its own downside. Opinion. Allow me to quote another saying of Haemin Sunim : “when we think we already know someone, we stop making effort to know them better. Consider when you think you already know your loved ones and when you do, you are failing to see them as they are right now, you see them through the prism of previously held opinions , instead.” Those words quoted from his “Love for Imperfect Things” book, and again, I could not believe how true it is. That “prism of previously held opinions” have an immense power to destroy our relationships because we instantly judge people. We did it in a heart...
6 comments
Read more

Learn to Let Go

Let go; letting go :           “An act of letting go; to free yourselves from self-destructive things. Be it a thought, a person, a feeling and anything of the sorts. To make peace with yourself.”           Letting go of someone or something truly is not an easy task, so easy to say yet extremely difficult to do. I just had a very tough day as me and my friend shouldered something we shouldn’t have. We got caught up in the middle of something so bad, which may affect our future (in a bad way, of course). A “bad luck”, so to say. We’re just some unlucky dude who got involved in some unlucky event, basically just being in the wrong place, at the wrong time. Same old story. And so I got home, bursting my anger to an (also) unlucky friend of mine and sure enough, I ended up regretting what I did later.           As my head start to think more c...
2 comments
Read more