What should I do

          A friend once asked me “What should I do at time of discomfort? Like when someone’s grieving, sad etc. I don’t know what to do. Should I hug them, give them some time alone, or should I talked it through with them regarding their worries? And the problem is, I’m not really much of a hugger. It will be awkward for me to do so. Also you do know that each of us has our own way to cope with grief, what works for me doesn’t necessarily works for everyone.” 

         So I said to her : Well, you must answer that question by yourself, as you know yourself the most. What will you do when such things happen? And if he/she knows you, they’ll be fine with whatever you do. They know that’s just your way of doing things. And if you still have doubts in your heart, just asked them directly. What would they want you to do, how do they want to be comforted? Do they want to be listened only or do they want solution? Do they want a hug, or maybe they want to be left alone, so they can cool their head first? Doing so will minimalize future mistakes that you might made and you’ll know what will you do the next time around. 

       Of course people want you to always understand them without they even have to say anything, but that’s not how it works. Not even with our closest friend. We’re not some mind-reader kids who’ll know what they feel or think at any moment. They still have to put it to words if they want to be understood.

          It's true that the longer you spent your time with someone, the sharper your “sixth sense” will be. You got so used with each other, you know exactly how they are, be it their actions, their reactions, literally everything about them. You even developed “telepathy” with some of your besties. You think alike, some of you even look-alike. We notice the slightest change in them that no one aware of. Sometimes without them even have to say anything. We know exactly when they had something on their mind, when they feel stressed out, etc etc. My friend and I did, at the very least. We literally don’t have to say anything-at all, and we still be able communicate with ease, our points still got through to one another. But still, that telepathy-thing still has its flaws, there is a pretty high chance you will mislead it and ended up with miscommunication. So talking it out still is and will always be our best option.

          But what is the least that you can do? You can simply just be there for them. Make sure you’re there whenever they need you. Do you know that the most valuable thing that you can give to someone is your time? So give them exactly that, give them a little bit of your time. Your presence matter most. They will remember neither what you were talking about nor how devastated they were, what they will remember is that you were there for them in times of trouble. 

         

    (photo courtesy of google.com)