The Little Women

Banyak yang bertanya kenapa saya posting foto ini melulu? Padahal tampang saya disana juga ga bagus-bagus amat, mana blur lagi, haha.. Saya posting foto ini karena Angku terlihat sangat gagah disana. Ya, saya memang sangat dekat dengan Angku, oleh karena itu kepergian Angku sangat membuat saya terpukul. Saya & adik besar di tangan Angku; diantar ke sekolah, pulang dari sekolah TK kami ke gubernuran menunggu Angku selesai bekerja lalu pulang bersama. Bolak balik Bengkulu-Padang dijemput oleh Angku, dengan saya dalam pangkuannya. Seperti tidak sadar saja sudah berapa besar badan saya pada waktu itu, haha. Banyak kebiasaan rumah Lapai selalu terbawa dalam diri saya hingga sekarang. Rumah yang selalu ramai, sarapan yang selalu nasi goreng, berenang ke laut dengan seluruh etek dan om lalu makan KFC,  malam Ramadhan ke-27 yang kami habiskan dengan main petasan bersama di Palinggam, bermain alek-alek memasak daun di atas batu, bermain gundu dan menggambar kotak di tanah yang kemudian kami

Losing your loved ones one after another Are excruciatingly painful The tears and the pain are unimaginable Realizing that no amount of prayers, No amount of tears Can bring them back, ever. Yes, the spirit lives on, But the flesh does not. The breath dissipates. Kakak love you so much, Angku. You’re my whole world. You’ve been so great with us,  Holding us so tight in your loving arms. And you’ll be so great with him too, Your great grandson. It breaks my heart that he’ll never had a chance to know you nor hear your kancil stories, Not ever hearing your laughs,  Or seeing the corner of your eyes creases when you smile. Truly, we never truly know how much things meant until they’re gone. Rest in peace, Angku.  Rest in so much love, And so much prayers from all of us, Who loves you so much with our whole heart. Ananda Khaira Azizah, Pekanbaru, 23 Mei 2023. Hari Selasa, pukul 6 pagi.

Change is quiet And acceptance is even more so. To focus on things you can change Instead of those you can’t, To accept things as it is Instead of how we want it to be. Change is quiet, In every steps of the way. And sometimes, We forget that everything falls on God’s hands. It falls on His plan, His time, and His way. So let’s just pray that  He will lead us by the heart, For everything we went, And everything we’ll go through. Ananda Khaira Azizah, Pekanbaru, 21 Mei 2023. Hari Minggu, pukul 3 sore.

Seeing the lights Moving slowly, sometimes rapidly It goes wherever their business takes them Whenever the time, to whoever waiting The lights are full of colors, you see. Sometimes red, the other times yellow, Some “unique” people even change their lights to purple. For none other reason for other people to see, the lights that belong to the one and only. Those lights bring you home To the people you loved most,  To the people you’ve missed, The lights bring you to the place where your soul rest, To the place where you feel at ease, To the place Where it feels Like home Ananda Khaira Azizah Pekanbaru, 7 Mei 2023. Hari Minggu, pukul 10 malam.

There are days when things becomes too much,   Days when even waking up become such hard labour, when sleeping and bath time took way longer than usual. There are days when tears is her only friend. She’s not always cheerful, you see. She’s not always strong, Not always hopeful  Or everything else in that spectrum. Sometimes she’s tired. She’s tired and she’s alone. Sometimes she’s tired and she’s done. Then she dims Alongside the far night. Let’s pray that this time  it won’t be too long, though. Let’s pray for her to regain her strength, For her hope to be rebuild, ever so slowly, And her faith, for guiding her back to light. Ananda Khaira Azizah, Pekanbaru, 3 Mei 2023. Hari Rabu, pukul 3 sore.