The Little Women

Then I remember that it’s your birthday, today. And I just happened to use your jacket  because of my sickness  these past weeks. Your jacket has always been my comfort clothing, you know. The black one that you always wore on our road trips? Yep, the  one  very special jacket that I save for myself.   It helps me get through my worst sick days. Through every chilly nights, every shivers and cold sweat, through everything. It literally as warm as your hugs. Happiest birthday, Angku. May you shine  and always keep shining wherever you are.  Fly high above the stars, and watch us dearly from there. The lives you touch  has always  been utterly grateful t o ever h ave you inside it. Let us pray for each other every now and then, yeah? I’ll come visit you when I’m finally able to. We love you, Angku.  We love you and we’ll always do. Ananda Khaira Azizah, Pekanbaru, 17 November 2024. Hari Minggu, pukul 2 siang.

Some stories are well hidden on the attic,   secretly written on a diary or simply well-kept on the mind of its owner. But I’m not a keeper, I’m a storyteller. I strongly believe that if my story can change the life of even one person  than it is a story worth to be told. Putting yourself out there &  being vulnerable is scary, I tell you. Because you give everyone the exact card  to use against you. Your trauma, your  feelings, your sacred secret and your deepest fear. But the upside is, you can  connect with them on a deeper level.  Because who knows? You might have a shared experiences or the same insights or simply, you guys just run on the same frequency. Then tada, you got a friend in me. Sharing is never about the story, you know. It’s about the share of feelings. Which by the end of it you’ll feel lighter, happier, matter. You feel understood and  finally, you will realize that  you’re not alone. You’re not alone. Ananda Khaira Az...

How can you see in the dark? With no lights is in sight? Do you reach out to someone else, Reach out to yourself, or you just sit there; laying in wait, waiting for the moment  to come out? Do you feel like free falling unto a  bottomless pit, with no way out? Nothing to bounce back into. Oh somehow you knew, somehow  you knew that the only way out  is up, but it’s not as easy as it sounds, right? So not as easy as it sounds. Because all reasons is none when the mind is gone. So how do you, Oh how do you see in the dark? Ananda Khaira Azizah, Pekanbaru, 4 November 2024. Hari Senin, pukul 4 pagi.