The Little Women

I know your eyes are wide open, child. Because you come crawling to your mama. You toss your body left and right; restless from the sudden wakefulness. Then mama soothe you back to sleep. She will pat your back gently while whispering her magic words : “You’re okay, baby. You’re just startled. You’re okay, darling. Shh, shh.” “It’s all right, baby; I know you’re afraid. Mama’s here.” “I’m right here, baby. You’re okay.” Then (somehow) you always reach for her belly button for comfort; then your breath deepens, it starts to inhale then exhale slowly. Ever so slowly but sure. You’re finally asleep, again. It occurs many times at night, baby. And mama’s okay with that. Mama’s okay with being your everything.  If we associate memory with feelings then I hope these feelings stay forever. The feeling of love & being loved back, the feeling of immense happiness, the feeling of being safe and sound, the feeling of.. everything. I hope it stays forever. And I hope that we stay forever t...

I have hope for my child For him to be as free as he like. To be as thoughtful as he could be, to be responsible for his choices, and to be happy for his life. For him to be kind to everyone around and even kinder to himself; being proud of the child he was, the boy he is and the man he will be. To love and be loved abundantly, admirably, fiercely and deservingly. I wish for him to  treat people the way he wants to be treated. If we look out for people; people will look out for we. I wish for him to be truthful, both to other and to himself. For the truth and the light will guide him home, no matter  how dark the road might’ve become. And last but not least, I wish for him to be brave. Brave enough to search for his cause, to  pursue it and to live for it because that  cause is the essence of one’s true being. It’s the beacon of our light. Ananda Khaira Azizah, Pekanbaru, 21 Februari 2025. Hari Jum’at, pukul 5 pagi.

My husband has a very kind eyes, you know.  The type that emit kindness & calm to  everyone who sees. A clear, beautiful eyes. My father also has kind eyes, very much like  husbando right there. My baby has curious  eyes while my brother and my mother both have sharp eyes. You can learn so much about a person from their eyes only. It is said to be a window of one soul. I was once (well, twice) fell into my hazy state. My eyes were very cloudy with self hatred,  thousands of worries, sadness; loneliness & everything. I was paralyzed, unfocus & very weary that you  can literally feel how tired I was. I feel tired to my bone and all I want to do is climb onto my bed and go to sleep. Just gonna sleep the day away. The occurrence saddens my father so, so much that his shoulder was slumped; his eyes darkened, he’s beyond exhausted &  very overwhelmed. For the first time in his life, my father didn’t know what to do. But he still showed up. He...

S omething threw me out today. I’ve been with my husband since I was 25 so that was like, 4 years of my time already? Really? How come something feels so fleeting, so unbelievably comforting and loving at the same time? There’s never really a time when I did not feel  grateful to have him as my companion (of course he does have his flaws but it’s only for my eyes to see & my ears to hear, right?) He’s the most amazing; laid back and just, the funniest person ever. He studies hard, he works hard and he loves even harder. He adapts well to literally anything life threw at him. I’m so glad I’m on the front row seat to watch him grow, and blissful enough to  grow alongside him. That great person once doubt that he himself would not be able to be close to his children, the one thing that I will zealfully deny because I observe first hand what kind of a father he is. He’s the father whose child come into his embrace on the small hours of the night then soothe the child back to s...