My husband has a very kind eyes, you know.
The type that emit kindness & calm to
everyone who sees. A clear,
beautiful eyes.
My father also has kind eyes, very much like
husbando right there. My baby has curious
eyes while my brother and my mother
both have sharp eyes.
You can learn so much about a person
from their eyes only. It is said to be
a window of one soul.
I was once (well, twice) fell into my hazy state.
My eyes were very cloudy with self hatred,
thousands of worries, sadness;
loneliness & everything.
I was paralyzed, unfocus & very weary that you
can literally feel how tired I was. I feel tired
to my bone and all I want to do is climb
onto my bed and go to sleep. Just
gonna sleep the day away.
The occurrence saddens my father so,
so much that his shoulder was slumped;
his eyes darkened, he’s beyond exhausted &
very overwhelmed. For the first time in
his life, my father didn’t
know what to do.
But he still showed up. He pulled me up every
morning from my bed, taking me on a long
drive in search for breakfast and he did it
for months, every single day. Only for
the sake of accompanying me
at my worst.
And the second strike, my husband was
the one who did all that for me.
He holds me together.
I was very lucky to have everyone helping
me go through what I went through.
Then together we rose, hand in
hand, ever so slowly but sure.
Know that you’re not alone and that you matter
just as much as anyone else. You definitely
are not a burden and yes, your family
will be sad when you’re gone.
Please talk to someone when
it becomes too much.
I want you to know that you still have me
even when you don’t have yourself.
With so much love,
Ananda.
Ananda Khaira Azizah,
Pekanbaru, 10 Februari 2025.
Hari Senin, pukul 10 pagi.
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